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Post by Koxio on Mar 18, 2015 11:31:10 GMT -5
Who: Jaxan, anybody Where: Storage Room When: Post Trial 8
Jaxan glared at the wall before her, all the memories coming back. How she had agreed to dressing up Koto that one time - she had even told him her secret - how she had ran into him that day in the hall, how Kat and her had talked about Koto and Angel's relationship...there would be no more of that, right? Because the puppetmaker was dead, and being dead meant that he would never come back. Yet, being dead was probably better than being alive, seeing the circumstances.
"God...dammit..." The girl glared at the wall before her, smashing it with her left hand, ignoring the pain. Koto was gone.
And so was Rika. She would never get to see her again, would never get to look for her clarinet with her again...would never make food with her...would never have casual chats with her...no. They all went with her to Heaven, where everybody deserved to go. And when they finally found the damned mastermind, surely, Rika would do her side of the favor in punching them in the face once they got rid of him once in for all. And all of the other kids, too.
Anger was making her not able to think clearly. Oh, how she wanted to kill somebody - beat them to a pulp, stab them repeatedly, kick them off the boat...yet how would she live with that feeling of guilt that surely, all of the other murderers had to go to the grave with? And how selfish would it be, to kill somebody to get rid of the anger for her own selfish reasons?
...And how would it affect those who knew her? Kat? Ennosuke? Fermata?
Why, it almost seemed like there was nobody left for her to hold onto. The girl sighed, punching the wall yet again, this time, tears springing into her eyes as she willed herself to wake up from this horrid nightmare. Yet deep down, she knew - this was reality. Sickening, disgusting reality.
And right now, reality was laughing at her - taunting her with the death of her friends and to those all around her, taunting her by keeping her alive to suffer alone, taunting her, laughing at her, daring her to kill, daring her to go insane. Quite frankly - if another person close to her died, she would probably go insane.
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Post by SHSL dead pianist on Mar 18, 2015 13:21:00 GMT -5
hosriufhwi that was a beautiful post can i reply over here
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Post by Koxio on Mar 18, 2015 13:56:14 GMT -5
hosriufhwi that was a beautiful post can i reply over here ofc !! uvu
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Post by SHSL dead pianist on Mar 18, 2015 14:07:52 GMT -5
What had first drawn fermata to the storage room again was the thought of trying to play a little piano. Maybe it could help. Just before the trial, she had finally managed to take off the casts Aisu had so carefully helped her place. She had thought it to be a good thing. She had planned on telling Koto, but apparently that wasn't going to happen. Piano was what she had been most excited about. With her hands back, she could finally play. That was supposed to be a good thing, right? It didn't seem like it. Of course, hearing something slam into a wall from the storage room changed her badly thought of plans. She ran in, only to find Jaxan punching the wall. Jaxan had.... lost it? Jaxan was one of the calmest people she knew. Koto and Rika's deaths must have affected her a lot, too. Koto and Rika. She wiped away small forming tears quickly before turning to Jaxan. "a-are you a-alright?"
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Post by Koxio on Mar 18, 2015 14:34:01 GMT -5
Judging by the voice, Jaxan assumed it was Fermata. If it was that stupid bear trying to make her suffer even more by acting like her before the pianist died, she would gladly give it a punch before getting the punishment for hitting it - hopefully it would be death. She would rather be chilling in Hell with all the other kids than in his hellhole.
"...I don't know, do I look okay?" Jaxan spat out between gritted teeth, once again punching the wall, wincing slightly at the pain. "Because I don't know about you, but I sure as hell probably look like I've been put on a boat and watched all my friends die! Oh, wait! That's what fucking happened." The girl laughed a shaky laugh, which sounded both forced and a tad creepy.
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Post by SHSL dead pianist on Mar 18, 2015 15:23:23 GMT -5
Fermata winced at the harshness in Jaxan's voice. It almost felt as sharp as a knife , or cold as the water on the boat. Still, the actress wasn't acting for once. She was being honest. And Fermata wasn't going to be the one that stopped that. She slowly walked over to Jaxan, and even more hesitantly, guided the girl away from the wall. Punching it more would only cause her pain, and that couldn't be helpful.
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Post by Koxio on Mar 18, 2015 15:29:14 GMT -5
The girl blinked. What on Earth was the pianist doing? Still, her stubbornness got ahead of her, for she writhed out of Fermata's grip. "What are you doing?" she glared at her. She rather not move. She rather not be comforted by her - after all, fate had a way to make her suffer. Fermata might die next. And, as selfish as it may seem, she didn't want to feel okay, only to plunge back into the world in which the chaotic minds dwelled.
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Post by SHSL dead pianist on Mar 18, 2015 15:46:16 GMT -5
Fermata stepped back quickly, head bowed. "Y-you w-were hurting y-yourself." She mumbled, not quite facing Jaxan. What /was/ she doing? People never did like when she tried to help. Should she stop? ..... No, she shouldn't. She wouldn't stop trying to help her friends. That was wrong. She would help them for as long as she could. She looked up, finally looking Jaxan in the eye. "And I won't let you hurt yourself."
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Post by Koxio on Mar 18, 2015 16:11:33 GMT -5
"...Who says I was hurting myself?" Jaxan asked, quietly. "...Who says that I wasn't just getting rid of this pent-up frustration? Had I wanted to hurt myself, I would've taken a knife and cut myself." The girl returned her gaze to Fermata, looking her in the eye, too, to show that she was being serious.
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Post by SHSL dead pianist on Mar 18, 2015 16:27:49 GMT -5
Fermata's short bout of courage almost faltered, but the girl managed to stay where she was. "Y-your hands are g-going to be really bruised in a few minutes. C-cutting yourself is more obvious, but you're s-still causing yourself pain when you hit that w-wall. M-maybe you could t-try to find another way t-to let out your frustration?"
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Post by Koxio on Mar 18, 2015 16:54:57 GMT -5
"Like what?" Jaxan countered. "Killing somebody? Sure, I'd kill you, but how selfish would it be? How would it affect everybody else on this damned boat? And who even cares if I'm going to get a bruised hand?" The girl paused, waving her left hand, which she used to hit the wall. "It's my non-dominant hand, after all. It's not like I'm going to be using it any time soon." The girl narrowed her eyes.
"And, Fermata--Of course somebody is going to fall prey to the bear's plan of driving us crazy and killing each other." The girl laughed bitterly. "No shit, Sherlock, as my father would always say. Of /course/ somebody is going to kill another person. That's how the fucking system on this cursed boat works." The girl kicked an empty crate across the room, breaking eye contact with the pianist.
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Post by SHSL dead pianist on Mar 18, 2015 18:36:54 GMT -5
She had heard these words from Micah, from Angel, from Kura, and once from Koto. What she wanted least was to hear them from Jaxan as well, but now that was happening. "I-I didn't m-mean something to th-the extent of killing." She murmured, then flinching when Jaxan kicked the crate. "B-but you also d-don't have to be the one that k-kills. And if p-people would r-remember that, then m-maybe they wouldn't be k-killing. I don't c-care about what the others decide to do right now. Y-you're my friend! I don't care if I end up dead later, I promised I would h-help whenever I could, even if I ended up in despair later. And no m-matter how unimportant is s-seems to you, I see a badly bruised hand. Th-that doesn't seem ok to me." She also saw a crying and despairing Jaxan, but she was fairly sure that part was made obvious by her expression.
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Post by Koxio on Mar 18, 2015 20:46:45 GMT -5
[[ eep late reply sorry ]] "Oh, dear, have I struck a nerve there?" the girl chuckled. "Because, quite frankly, you seem to be stuttering far more than you did when you walked in here. Are you regretting walking in here? I suggest you leave before you burst into tears." She turned Fermata towards the exit. "Should I show you the door, hmm?"
Jaxan knew that she was avoiding the fact that Fermata had said that she would help her out. It pained her, but right now - she had anger to deal with.
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Post by SHSL dead pianist on Mar 19, 2015 14:01:46 GMT -5
Fermata stepped back, crossing her arms and looking at Jaxan the way a child would when their parents told them they couldnt have a cookie. the slightest glimmer of fear in her eyes was the only thing that hinted at anything different. "n-no! i am n-not moving! even if you w-wont listen to me, i will stay r-right here!" she huffed. she didnt know exactly if it would help, but she wouldnt walk out. that felt like giving up!
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Post by Koxio on Mar 19, 2015 14:06:35 GMT -5
Jaxan clicked her tongue in annoyance. "...Fermata," she said rather seriously, "I might die, and you might die, too. You don't want to break your heart - and same goes to me. Now go." With the slightest of hesitations, the actress lightly pushed the pianist towards the door, wincing at the pain of moving her left hand brought her.
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